It's never been too much of a challenge for me to reach for my dreams.
College...Check
Medical school...Check
Getting married...Check
Having children...Check
Raising children...Check
And there's more to come, I'm sure.
I've done a lot of things in my life.
To begin, I've climbed aboard a Japanese school bus full of children I couldn't understand when I was 6 years old, promising to take me to a trusted place unknown to me...
I've went to camp for several summers growing up bravely learning to rock climb, rappel, and kayak...
I've gone away to college and joined the crew team that taught me the discipline and grueling nature of competitive sports by doing 5 am, 2 hour, workouts every morning with afternoons as well...
I applied to medical school 2 years in a row knowing I would continue to work towards my goal of being a doctor...
I made the careful and thoughtful decision to not continue with residency so I could be home with our boys...
All of these things have taken courage, self esteem, and the belief I have in myself to attain these dreams and desires.
I mark yesterday, October 10, 2011 as very, very important. Because at this age, after being told for years and years that I could and I didn't believe it...I for some reason, after being told again...I made my Papaw and Mawmaw Stella's English Muffin Bread. And I made it well!
I don't know if other people do this- accomplish many things in life, but never dream of trying to recreate their grandparents recipes until they feel a different kind of confidence. I've kind of graduated a very internal, special kind of graduation. In a way I feel more grown up and I believe in myself in more ways than I used to. Not only did I go and find the most wonderful husband and have the most beautiful kids, I am caring to take care of them and me...well. It's a kind of "settling in", a comfort that bonds us deeper as a family.
Bread can do this. At least this English Muffin Bread can. Everyone in my family knows it. Knows it's smell, it's texture, the way butter melts right into it. They know the comfort it gives you when you see it on the table. It makes us think of family. A full table of family. And...mostly...a wonderful memory of Papaw.
I am so happy, because unbeknownst to them, our boys will have a taste of what I always have loved so much about being at Papaw and Stella's house and maybe they, too, can make it one day for their kids.
